In My Not Quite Humble Opinion
I have a few opinions.
I often say to my husband, “I don’t know why you would ever argue with me, when you know that I am always right.”
With everyone I am not married to, however, I am actually quite tolerant. I know that I’m right, but I realize that other people mistakenly think they are right too. I am a very nice person, so I let them think so. (And I know I would never convince them anyway – I haven’t even convinced my husband.)
But the other day I heard something on the radio that reminded me of just how right I am.
It was an ad for the local airport.
It is my opinion that it is a complete waste of money for airports to advertise. Hearing an ad for an airport does not make me want to go there. I go there when I need to fly someplace. And then I go to the nearest airport that gets me there. In Connecticut we only have on airport. Guess where I fly from? And hearing that ad a few days ago didn’t make me say, “I have to find someplace to go, so that I go to that awesome airport.”
Ditto for hospitals. I will admit that a hospital may want the public to know about what services it offers. But lately, one of our local hospitals has been advertising an app that you can download which keeps track of the waiting time in the ER. If you need to go to the ER, in my opinion, you should just GO. Checking the wait time may be more appropriate for Space Mountain.
Speaking of being in pain, it is also my opinion that tearjerker movies are very therapeutic. Having a good cry about something that doesn’t hurt you personally is a great stress-reliever. I learned this forty-five years ago when I saw “Midnight Cowboy” for the second time. I had seen it with friends, and then gone again with my sister a few weeks later. Knowing how it ended, I started crying about half-way into the movie. Every time Ratzo said “Florida” I cried a little more. By three-quarters of the way through, I was bawling. Loudly. And after the movie was over, I felt wonderful. Euphoric even.
Several times a year, you should pick a movie that really gets the waterworks flowing: “Terms of Endearment,” or “Kramer Vs Kramer” – even “Old Yeller” if that does it for you. Have a fabulous cry. Sob even.
Which leads me to tissue. In this case, bathroom tissue. Toilet Paper. It always should be positioned to roll from the top over the front. Not down the back. Not ever.
You may disagree with me. You’d be wrong. But I’m way too nice to say so.
(Next time: Style Opinions)