Out Of This World
A few months ago, I expressed my suspicion that my husband might be an alien.
He ate his turkey soup with a fork. And when I questioned him, he explained that he ALWAYS ate the ‘stuff’ out of the soup first with his fork, and then used his spoon for the broth. ALWAYS. But in the twenty-two years I’ve known him, let me say in response to his ALWAYS:
I thought he might be one of the pod-people – taking over my poor husband’s body.
But this weekend I had an astounding realization.
It’s not him.
I read a lot about makeup. I can go through 452 reviews on Sephora, because number 453 might be just the product I need. But before I decide, I will also go to makeupalley or beauty.com – and read some more reviews.
And I found a product I just HAD to have.
It’s Nars powder blush with the promising name, Orgasm.
According to the thousand reviews on multiple websites, Orgasm blush is sheer, iridescent, and warm.
And in all the editorial reviews by Experts (and I read them all) the same rave: “Orgasm’s peachy-pink color is UNIVERSALLY FLATTERING.”
So I went right down (well. right after six days of research) to Sephora and emptied my wallet and bought this universally flattering blush.
Only it isn’t working for me.
I’ve tried a little. I’ve tried a lot. I’ve put a base of cream blush first. I’ve added some sheer powder on top.
But the color is just not flattering.
But it is supposed to be UNIVERSALLY FLATTERING!
Where the heck am I from???
I look exactly like the human who purported to be my father, but that must be a clever alien trick.