notquiteold

Gracefully Aging – With Resistance

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Jealousy

I’m jealous of my husband. Not jealous OVER my husband. Although I guess I would if he had a girlfriend. I guess. Maybe I would. I definitely would. Eventually. And I’m not jealous because he’s a MAN. No, I never wanted to be a man. As Elaine Benes said, “I don’t know how you guys …

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Bye-Bye

I’ve said before that I can’t park. Parallel is ridiculous. Good thing I didn’t have to demonstrate to get my license. But the only place where I must parallel park is my Yoga class.  But I’ve worked it out. I wait by the fire hydrant for the previous class to get out. I wait for …

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The Things My Things Need

I received an email from my favorite retailer the other day: “Your Jeans Need This” I naturally opened it right away. I was very anxious to know what my jeans needed. My jeans had not expressed any desires or dissatisfactions in quite some time. I was a conscience-stricken that my jeans might be reluctant to …

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The Dishwashing Experience

The phenomenon of “Dishpan Diarrhea” really seemed to strike a chord with many readers. (which I’ll admit is a strange metaphor, but who’s to say that diarrhea is not melodic?) But I digress. Since so many of you could relate to dish-washing avoidance, I figured I could milk the idea expound on the subject for one …

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The Patron Saint of Nonbelievers

I used to describe myself, as “Spiritual, but not religious.” That sounded so nice, but it really had no meaning. I wasn’t a worshipper of spirits or a believer in any other-worldly things. I guess that, loosely translated, it meant that I was a moral person, because I knew that I was happier good than …

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Secret Agent

I am a hoarder of confidential information. You may think I don’t have many secrets – after all, I have shared my colonoscopy with you. And you’ve read about my bad boyfriends, my bad haircuts, my bad habits, my bad career choices. And you’ve met every member of my family, past and present – who …

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The Horrible, Though Imaginary, Family Secret

My maternal grandparents came to the US from Poland before World War I. They came separately – they didn’t meet until they were here for several years. As a matter of fact, my grandfather met and married someone else first, a young woman who died in the Great Influenza Pandemic of 1918. I don’t know …

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I’ve Changed My Mind

About eight years ago, my husband and I moved to the country. Okay, not “country’ country. We’re one mile from the highway. But it’s a very second-rate highway. And there’s a sheep farm down the road. And watching those sheep, and driving around our little patch of rural Connecticut, I have been overcome with desire. …

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Dis-Stressing

Since I am committed to  Improving My Perfections, it is probably not a surprise to you that I love Self-Help stuff. Books, articles, TV shows.  I want to learn the True Secret of  Eternal Happiness, and I am sure someone must have found it, and would like to make money off of it.  And I …

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Entertainment Tonight

Heaven forbid I should ever criticize anyone’s taste. Different things appeal to different people, and who am I to say one preference is better than another? Except. My husband’s taste in TV. Now that I spend all evening with my laptop writing my blog or designing outfits on Polyvore (and I have a 10th place …

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