notquiteold

Gracefully Aging – With Resistance

Category Archives: Fashion

Perfectly Dirty

As I’ve written before, every day helpful emails jump into my inbox, offering assistance in the most important  facets of my life. If I had to categorize them, they’d look something like this: HELPFUL EMAILS BY TYPE The sex emails – though plentiful – I usually ignore. I would much rather read about makeup than …

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The Things My Things Need

I received an email from my favorite retailer the other day: “Your Jeans Need This” I naturally opened it right away. I was very anxious to know what my jeans needed. My jeans had not expressed any desires or dissatisfactions in quite some time. I was a conscience-stricken that my jeans might be reluctant to …

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Itsy-Bitsy

It was appropriate that as we approached the beach the radio was playing,“She Wore An Itsy-Bitsy, Teenie-Weenie, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.“ Not that what I was wearing was itsy-bitsy or teenie-weenie or even yellow polka dot. But it was a bikini. And I was afraid to come out of the locker. I had promised my …

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One Size Fits All

It’s no secret – (because I have no secrets – I’ve written 256 posts over the last two years; there is no detail of my life not in print)  – that I like big girl underpants. High in the waist and low on the legs – the kind that make me look like I am …

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New York Report

Last week I went into The City (yup, that’s what we call in out here in East BumF**k) with a friend to see a Broadway play. We saw “Motown: The Musical”.   I love Motown. I loved Motown even before I loved The Beatles. The music in this show was spectacular – although sometimes it …

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I Get To Be A Princess

A couple of months ago, I reminisced about being eight years old and wanting to be Miss America. (When Nineteen Was Far Away.) I wanted to wear a gown and a tiara, and I thought that just maybe 2013 might be my year. And I was right! Last week my grand-niece (or is it great-niece? …

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The Popular Table, Part 2

In the summer of 1969 – the summer between high school and college – there occurred an event so enormous it changed my life forever. I know what you are thinking – Apollo 11 – the moon landing! The triumph of science and exploration! Umm.  No. Woodstock! I wasn’t there. In fact, I was so …

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I’m Taking It As A Compliment

I’m a late bloomer. Like really late. I was a cute kid, but in a weird-looking half-elf/half-orphan-from-Ellis-Island sort of cute. No one would have wanted to cast me in a commercial, although I was hankering strongly to be in one. “I can do that,” I said to my mother. “I can eat Wonder Bread. I …

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Not Mad As Hell

But definitely peeved as all get out. Does anyone even used the term “all get out” anymore?  If not, then THAT peeves me too. I have had a very peevish week. It started last Saturday. I ran into Target to buy the Easter equivalent of stocking-stuffers for the little ones in my family. I knew …

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Buy Me Flowers

Lest you think that my fashion-plateness (platedom, platability?) is a recent avocation, let me present to you little Nancy  – Easter Sunday, 1958: Not only do I have a stylish pink dress with matching coat, I have a new Easter bonnet, white gloves, patent leather shoes with matching purse, and a corsage. (And Daddy’s face.) …

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