Category Archives: Beauty
I’m Taking It As A Compliment
I’m a late bloomer. Like really late. I was a cute kid, but in a weird-looking half-elf/half-orphan-from-Ellis-Island sort of cute. No one would have wanted to cast me in a commercial, although I was hankering strongly to be in one. “I can do that,” I said to my mother. “I can eat Wonder Bread. I …
New York Fashion Report
Well, I went to New York City this week, and as your fashion correspondent from East Bumf**k, let me reassure you that skinny jeans are still in style. It was good news for me, at least, because I only recently invested in a few pair. And I’d like to think I can wear them at …
When Nineteen Was Far Away
I’m sixty-two today. It’s true what they say about time passing more quickly as you get older. The last twenty years especially are like a book that I just skimmed through. I wish I had read every line more carefully. I may had missed some hidden meaning in my race to the next chapter. There …
Order Today!
My email and snail mail are full of birthday cards – all from vendors trying to get me to shop for my birthday. Which isn’t difficult to do, but I do appreciate the discounts. Most appropriate for my birthday is a catalog I received for the first time this week. I’m not sure how I …
Corporal Mysteries
This is not a “Whatever happened to Max Klinger?” type of Corporal Mystery. No, this is Corporal in the sense of “What the heck is going on with my body?” As I come within a week of turning sixty-two, it has occurred to me that in many ways my body is still an enigma to …
Peau De Quoi?
I am more than willing to try anything that will make me look younger. I will stand in line. I will pay pretty big bucks. But – although I am often a beauty-fool – there is a little tiny piece of my brain (located right near the place that makes me wash the plastic forks) …
The Evil Trickster
After twenty-two years of loyal service, our precious scale died just before Christmas. It stayed the loving companion to the end – expiring with the sweetest gesture a scale has ever delivered. With its last dying breath, it said I weighed 87 pounds. My husband buried it in the cellar – because he can’t throw …
I’m Going Small
In 2012, my New Year’s Resolutions were BIG! I never realized how successful I could be just through visualization (and a creative definition of success). So this year I thought I would tackle even bigger challenges – by selecting those teeny tiny adorably quirky habits (some – like a person I am related to …
Lashing Out
So this week’s beauty obsession is EYELASHES. About ten days ago I was watching some interview with some football player and he had EYELASHES. This ridiculously large brute had the eyelashes I have longed for all my life. They were long, dark, thick, curly – they actually threw shadows on his cheekbones – a la …
