Practice, Practice, Practice
You know the old joke – The tourist asks the New Yorker:
“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?”
“Practice, Practice, Practice.”
Well, I’ve been practicing all right.
This is my 200th blog.
I started fourteen months ago with a two-paragraph post about bathing suits, and I’ve been writing about bathing suits and other weirdnesses of aging several times a week.
I’ve had more than 55,000 views. And my mother doesn’t even read my blog, or it would be 100,000.
Thank you all for letting me have so much fun two hundred times.
I’ve learned a lot about myself – and about you – in all those posts.
1. Most obvious: I can write 500 words about anything. Toilet seats, Night-lights, Eyebrow plucking. You name it. Give me a subject and an hour to think about it. My words may be trivial, but they come gushing out like Niagara Falls. I actually did two posts that mentioned Niagara Falls. Writer’s Block is a myth.
2. I am obsessed with avoiding the aging process. I want to be young. I want: young hair, young skin, young clothes and most especially – young buttocks. Oh, and young ankles. But I don’t want to look like I am trying too hard. I am the sixty-one-year-old equivalent of prom hair.
3. Lots of people have the same ideas at the same time. When I write about Wonder Bread – there are fifty other bloggers also writing about Wonder Bread. Some even mention Twinkies too. I worried for a while that I wasn’t very original. But so what? We all live in the same world, all bombarded with the same stimuli. My subject matter may not be original, but I am.
4. I’m not the only woman who worries about swimsuits and miniskirts. Women executives, doctors, teachers, and grandmas find me every day – with the search term “skinny jeans.”
5. It appears that many women still have a big crush on David McCallum.
6. Reminiscing is sweet. Lots of people have similar childhood memories – school days, holidays, brothers and sisters, and teenage angst. And if your past was not as happy as it should have been, read me anyway. I’ll share mine.
7. Everyone loves my mother. And they should.
8. No matter how many times I proofread, I will always have a stuipd typo.
9. Single women tend to think my husband’s eccentricities are cute. Endearing even. Married women know better. They just sigh in commiseration. Everyone has the same husband.
10. Speaking of men – I get a lot of laughs when I laugh at men. And all my male readers (both of them) are usually very good-natured about it. But when I wrote – once! – that women can’t park…holy crap. I got a lot of indignant female responses. Come on ladies, lighten up.
11. No matter how silly I get, there is always someone out there who takes me seriously. I’m glad you think I have something important to say. I usually don’t.
12. I don’t have to steal (very many) photos from the internet. I can draw. And even if I draw badly, people seem to like funny drawings. This is better than when my Mom taped my drawings to the refrigerator. The internet is like having refrigerators all over the country.
Don’t put a magnet on your laptop though.