notquiteold

Gracefully Aging – With Resistance

Icon Anguish

You may think that Fashionistas live a carefree and superficial existence, breezing through their days thinking of nothing but the next pair of skinny jeans.

But now that I have chosen Fashion Icon as my vocation, I have found that it can be a difficult and stressful life.

I don’t wish to frighten anyone who is choosing the Fashion Icon career path – you certainly must pursue your dream, as I did mine.

But know that it is not all sequins and stilettos.

Here are some of the profound, complex dilemmas I face daily:

If I lose an earring, and have one beautiful earring left, does it really have to match the one on the other side?  Should I get another piercing (somewhere) so I can wear my collection of singles?

If I break a fingernail just when all my other fingernails are nice and long, do I go with one short and nine long nails, or do I have to cut my other nails so they at least match?  If I cut them halfway, so they are semi-balanced, would that be a good compromise?

Since I’ve lost enough weight to go down a size, how many of my big clothes should I keep as insurance for fat days? Is one pair of fat jeans enough, or do I keep them all? Is it dangerous to keep fat clothes?

If I buy something, and wear it once, and then decide I don’t like it, how long do I have to keep it in my closet so that I don’t feel guilty?  I’ve had a green silk blouse for three years. Do you think shopper’s remorse has an expiration date?

If I have some pretty and comfortable shoes, but I also have some stunning but uncomfortable shoes, I know which ones I would wear to a class reunion. But how about a family wedding?

On the other hand, if I look really spectacular on the outside, can I wear old comfy underpants?

Can I wear yesterday’s Yoga clothes to Zumba tomorrow?  They were all sweaty yesterday, but they are my cutest pants and they’re dry now, and they are just going to get sweaty again. If yes, how many times can I re-wear previously sweaty yoga pants? (Note: They don’t yet stand up by themselves.)

And finally -

If I get impatient with my hair, and trim it a little myself, do I tell my hairdresser the next time I see her, or do I let her think that she was the one who screwed it up?

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40 Comments

  1. Clearly this is a far more challenging career than I ever imagined..and certainly every question you pose could be open to debate. Wow – a lot to think about this morning…

    • Being a Fashion Icon is truly arduous. I thought I might want to be a Fashion Maven, but the demands were even more rigorous.

      • I can’t even imagine…;-)

  2. Michelle Gillies

    Impossible questions we have all been faced with…well, everything but the hair for me. I would never touch my hair. Everything else, though, definitely! All the stress caused me to gain all my wait back and chew my nails to the quick. I already have 3 earring holes.

  3. I love the Shopper’s Remorse dilemma. Sometimes I move these unloved clothes to front & center in my closet, thinking that they will suddenly appeal to me. They don’t. They still have the tags on. But I feel guilty getting rid of them without even wearing them once.

    • Who knew a blouse could instill so much guilt?

  4. I’ve had more than a little experience with the last one for sure. Some of the rest seem vaguely familiar too. Maybe I should change careers!

  5. Let her think she screwed it up — so many hairdressers turn their nose up at us trying to save a buck. I love your questions–here are a couple of answers – I have worn two different earrings – usually with a hoop which is the beige of the earring world; throw away your fat pants; wear the uncomfortable beautiful shoes to the wedding and switch at the reception; give away the green blouse; wear your yoga pants for a week–you don’t want to watch your fav pants to death; and yes, you can wear comfy underpants.

    • Wow… you are so far along on the Fashion Icon path… you will be my new role model!

  6. Make the fabulous earring without it’s mate into something else! Maybe a necklace? Sadly, my hairdresser knows I’ve cut my hair myself without me saying a word. =)

    • Yes, my hairdresser probably knows, but I don’t think I will admit it.

  7. Back in my younger days I bought a pair of earrings that were “mini sculptures.” On one ear lay an artist standing in front of his canvas, on the other was his model… a reclining nude. I used to love to wear those earrings because they were cute and unique. I also loved to wear them because of the silent reaction of people I met and with whom I had conversations. The conversation mate’s eyes would dart back and forth between ear lobes trying to make them magically match. Didn’t bother me, I couldn’t see them! Wearing a non-matching pair of earrings drives the world crazy… which thoroughly entertains me!

    • I have let my hair grow a bit, and my earrings hardly show. But it still bothers me if they don’t match. I wouldn’t want to appear reckless.

      • Oh, go ahead and go crazy. It’s fun to shock people who think they know you.

  8. One pair of fat jeans only. Get rid of the rest. Live in the moment. Comfy undies always work. I call them power undies! The rest is up to you. :)

    • I like ‘power undies’ so much better than ‘big girl underpants’. I think I just need to switch terminology.

  9. lol. They always figure out I am the one who screws up my hair, even when I blame it on someone else. Now it’s worse. They know I am the one who screws up my kids hair too!
    ~FringeGirl

  10. Wait, fingernails are supposed to match?

  11. pharphelonus

    so glad to be a guy

  12. Trust me, your hairdresser will know…

  13. I think the fingernail one gets me the most, or at least the most often. I have no problem wearing yoga pants that can do the posing without me in them.

    • Just happened again today. Now I have 8 nails that are medium long, and 2 very very short. I’m thinking that maybe three is the tipping point. I break one more and they all have to go.

  14. Teresa Cleveland Wendel

    I’m always hacking at my hair, and, trust me on this…the hairdresser always knows.

  15. Diane

    Maybe your hairdresser reads your Blog….

    • Then she knows about the last time I complained about her. Yikes.

  16. Get rid of the fat clothes. If you’re cheap like me it’s incentive not to regain. I trim my bangs. My mother was a hairdresser and I feel like I’m defying her every time (she’s been dead for seven years). I’m sure my hairdresser knows. As for the mismatched earrings (I love the artist and model), I have a pair, one says “in” and the other “out.” It took me the longest time to figure them out.

  17. If you give your green silk blouse away, I’m waiting in line. At my age, if I wore unmatched earrings, people would just thing I was a silly old woman. You are probably young enough to get away with it. In fact, you may start a new trend.

    • Oh dear, I hadn’t considered that! Now that I am over sixty, if my earrings don’t match, people may think I am senile, not stylish!

  18. All questions that I ask myself. Every day. You are so insightful!

  19. So many questions, so little time! However, I feel moved to answer them ALL.

    I prefer matching earrings. When I lost one of a fave pair of gold hoops I bought another pair the same. Then I had a pair and a spare, until I lost two more and replaced them for a third and final time. Now the odd hoop is sitting with other singles or broken gold jewellery. One day I will have them all melted down into a special bangle.

    Cut all the nails the same length and start again.

    Keep only one pair of fat jeans as a reminder not to get that way again.

    Give the blouse to charity and pretend you bought it specifically to donate.

    I agree about changing to comfortable shoes for dancing, Onthehomefrontandbeyond. These days I try to buy shoes that fulfill both the comfort and sexy angle.

    Lovely undies make you feel nice all over, but preferably lovely comfortable ones that don’t ride up your bum.

    Only if your yoga clothes pass the smell test, wear them again. Otherwise wash them.

    If I didn’t trim my fringe myself between visits I would get very frustrated. And yes, my hairdresser knows and has given up commenting on it.

    Entertaining blog as usual. Thanks :)

    • I definitely am liking your underwear philosophy.

  20. I feel your pain. As far as the wedding shoes, your choice depends on whether or not an old family friend that you used to have a crush on will be there, or if you have a sister-in-law who’s always trying to upstage you in the “pretty-damn-hot-for-her-age” department.

    As far as the workout clothes, as long as they don’t stand up by themselves or attract more than a minimum number of flies, you’re good.

    Thanks for enduring all this angst for the beautification of mankind.

    • I figure it is my contribution to the world.

  21. This is funny! And I definitely think the idea of comfortable underwear is the key–after all, isn’t it true that it’s what’s on the inside that really counts?

    • I agree. And I just happened to wear some very stylish but uncomfortable panties yesterday. I was miserable all day. Back to my big girl pants.

  22. excellent questions. cannot wait for the answers.

  23. Well the answer to the last question is simple — you absolutely let her think she screwed it up.

    Earrings, pierce the top cartledge then you will always have someplace to wear the singles as long as they are smaller.

    No you can not wear ugly, old and / or comfortable underwear. You must wear matching a beautiful underthings.

    Don’t buy ugly things, problem solved. But if you really have buyers remorse once a quarter give all to the woman’s shelter. Problem solved.

    Comfortable shoes? What are those?

    Buy three sets of your favorite yoga pants so your are able to cycle them. No one wants you to be stinky.

    One pair of ‘fat’ jeans is sufficient.

    Hope that helps. You have chosen a difficult life, I can only wish you luck.

    Great job as always you have made me smile.

    • Marvelous advice. You show great promise in the Fashion Icon arena.

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