notquiteold

Gracefully Aging – With Resistance

Let’s Put It In Context

Okay, I confessed to a few tiny little imperfections in my wifely role (Bad Wife“).

Which reminds me of the only joke my very serious mother-in-law ever told me:


Several months into a very happy honeymoon, one morning the husband says to his wife, 

“Honey, I love you so much. But now that we have been married for a little while, could I share with you a couple of your little faults?”

“No, Dear,” the wife answers. “Because if it wasn’t for those little faults, I would have been able to get a much better husband.”

##

Back to the subject:

Over these last several months, I’ve written quite a few times about my sweet husband.  And everyone just loves him.

“What a great guy!”  “He’s a keeper!” “You’re so lucky!”

All true.

However.

Lest you start to believe that my husband is perfect, and your husband is …..well…unfortunate; let me tell you three little incidents from just this week.

1.

He’s dieting. And he’s trying really hard – to very good results, I might add.

And two days ago, I come home from work and start dinner. As I am preparing a meal to fit his diet – hamburg patties, mashed sweet potatoes, and zucchini, he tells me that his diet is difficult.

“It’s a pain in the ass,” he says, “making meals on this diet plan.”

“So what did you make for lunch?” I say as I mash the potatoes,and saute the zucchini, and turn the burgers.

“A sandwich,” he answers.

2.

I had a big meeting at work this week.

I put in a lot of hours preparing for it. And it went extremely well. I came home pumped.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

So I started to tell him all about it.

Halfway through my story, he interrupted with a little “um- mmm” of understanding.

Only it wasn’t quite that. It was a snore.

3.

 We had a terrible thunderstorm Friday afternoon. We lost power about 5:00PM.

We live out in the country, and my talented husband installed a generator.  It’s a huge generator, and so lots of our necessities (like toilets) keep going even in an outage. But we have a big house and lots of ‘stuff’, so not everything runs.

Power was still out Saturday morning.

Our stovetop is propane anyway, so I made some poached eggs. My husband salted his eggs, but not much salt came out of the shaker.

“This is a little clogged,” he remarked.

I said, “Yeah, it’s probably because it’s hot and humid in here with no air conditioning.”

“No air-conditioning?” he howled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

##

Now don’t you feel a lot better about your husband?

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17 Comments

  1. love your writiing

  2. LOL Every bit of this was just hilarious, from your mother-in-laws joke to the A.C. And ulgh, no power overnight! We lost it for about 2-3 hours on Friday night, and I was having flashbacks from last year, when it was out all week (TWICE)!

    • We were out for a week in the crazy October snowstorm. I am so grateful for our generator, but it feels so good when the power comes back on and the roaring stops.

  3. as I’ve told my daughters for many years, people (and life) don’t come in black/white, good/bad, but in many shades of gray.

  4. I still luv your husband! I would far rather have a snore than a “honey this is what you should do!”

    I love your stories of life at home with your keeper :)

    • Isn’t it crazy? As much as I love him and think he is a genius… how I HATE it when he gives me advice!

  5. I knew there must be another side to the story, but we still love them don’t we? Love your MIL’s joke!

    Anna

  6. To answer your question, no.
    Then again my husband is gambling away in Las Vegas whilst I play a daily 10-hour game of hide-n-seek with a 2-year-old.

    • That’s too bad. (not about your husband being away; I love alone time… but about toddler games. I lose my enthusiasm after a very short while.)
      But maybe I can make you feel better. My husband has had the remote for the last hour. We’ve watched 5.45 minutes of 11 different shows.

  7. My husband refuses to fold the towels the way I want them folded. I worked in the linens section of a department store all through college, and now it kills me to see towels folded wrong. So since he won’t comply, or else tries and fails, I will refold all the towels. There, see what my husband endures? Your spouse can’t be that bad.

  8. the last one about the AC is a little homer simpsonish. and, well, we could all use a little homer once in a while, right?

    • You know, I thought my sketch was a littler homer simpsonish too… maybe there’s a reason?

  9. I don’t write about my husband because he reads my blog, but boy-oh-boy, could I write pages of stuff on the subject – both the things he does that are wonderful and helpful and dutiful, and all those things that drive me NUTS (like ‘hijacking’ conversations when he finds what I’m saying to be boring – I don’t know if that’s better than falling asleep or not!) Thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone!

  10. KLyanok

    We are apparently married to the same man. While marriage is generally OK, this co-habitation thing leaves a lot to be desired.

  11. Wait. News Alert — husbands as a species have imperfections. Alert the Press!

  12. This seriously cracked me up. Yes, we have sweet hubbies, but no, they are not perfect. And that’s the way I want mine…That way, when I mess up, I can say, “Well, you’re not perfect either.” Ha-ha!

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