I used to fly a lot for business. I got to be very good at it, especially when I was lucky enough to fly first class (which is a wonderfully terrible waste of money).
But my current job doesn’t require any travel. And I’m basically a homebody. So that means I don’t travel much at all anymore.
So now when I take the occasional trip, the idiosyncrasies of travel seem more noticeable.
On this last little trip, I noticed:
1. That there is now an additional fee to check your bag. So everyone has two carry-ons. Which no longer fit. So if you board the plane last, there’s no more room for carry-ons, and they check your bag for you. For free. Huh?
2. I read somewhere that efficiency studies have been done to get passengers aboard in the quickest, easiest way possible. The results of these studies must have been lost. The entire plane is Zone 4.
3. Air travel attracts people who have the craziest pets in the world. (Maybe because their owners are flying away all the time.) The Sky Mall has page upon page like this:
I particularly like the Porch Potty, which comes in Standard or Premium with a scented fire hydrant and a hygienic sprinkler system.
And there are mahogany crates and baby-gates, fountains, food dishes with timers, bird-watching videos, and many other accessories for the neglected pet.
4. Air travelers have now begun to WEAR THEIR PILLOWS when they travel. The boarding gate looks like a whiplash convention.
I didn’t see this guy, though.
But I am sure it is just a matter of time.
5. Some instructions are unnecessary. I have a step-stool at home that has a little warning on the non-step side.
I can see where I may accidentally use the wrong side as I climb up to clean my light fixture. But I also noticed from my assigned seat (in Zone 4) that the “NOT A STEP!” sign also appears on the wing of the plane.
6. I am sure that some guy with a sick sense of humor cleans the plane between flights. This comedian must go around and shorten every seat belt as he straightens up. No matter where I sat on the many legs of my journey, I had to let out the seat belt about nine inches. Not funny.