notquiteold

Gracefully Aging – With Resistance

I’m a Good Tipper

 
Amanda Françozo

Image via Wikipedia

Because I have a pile of presents to wrap, and a tree with lights but no decorations, it’s time for the Holiday Re-Run.  Here’s a post from way back when I first started to blog (a whole five months ago) and had few readers.  But I liked this one, so I am giving it another chance. I also went to the hairdresser last night, so it’s again appropriate.

*******************

I’M A GOOD TIPPER

Dear Hairdresser:

Before you start, I’d like to share with you just a couple of my little “issues”:

  • My face is really round.
  • My eyes are close together.
  • My eyebrows are going gray.
  • I have a short neck, but an extra chin.
  • My lips are too thin.
  • I’m very pale.  Except when I’m tan.
  • My hair is fine at the temples, but thick at the back.
  • Nobody has no body like me.
  • One ear is just slightly lower than the other.
  • I’m allergic to one kind of dye, but I don’t remember which one.
  • I like my hair a rich, dark brown, or maybe blond.  Redheads are nice.
  • I like layers, but not too many layers.  Or maybe a lot.  Or maybe blunt.
  • The back of my head is quite flat.
  • I have a cowlick back there, so that spot is even flatter.
  • The right side of my hair tends to flip up by itself.
  • I like bangs.  Long, but not too long.  And fringy.  You know, like that actress.  You know… her. But only in that one movie, not the other one.
  • I’m not very good with the blowdryer.
  • Humidity makes my hair flop.
  • Dry weather gives me the static flyaways. Like rubbing a balloon against a sweater.
  • I have a photo here of a style I like.  It’s longer than my hair, but the right cut might grow into that.
  • I want to subtract a few years.  Like twenty.

So now we’re ready.

Give me a hairdo that will correct/conceal/complement these few little issues.

I know you can do it.

I’m a good tipper.

About these ads

18 Comments

  1. I think all my glasses look crooked because I have one ear lower than the other. I guess I could get one eye lifted. Glad you reran this. I needed the laugh.

  2. RVingGirl

    Great post.
    So I am not the only one with a crooked face/eyes/ears/everything? LOL
    And I would have added………..Don’t try to talk me into anything wild and new!
    lol

  3. Oh, good. I actually have a hair appointment today. Now I’ll have a few easy pointers and suggestions to offer my stylist ;) Thanks!

  4. I may need to print this out and take it with me to my next appointment. Would you mind? :)
    Terrific post!

    • I’m sure your hairdresser won’t mind a few suggestions. My hairdresser loves it that I expect her to change the way I look completely with a few snips of the scissors. If she only cut my hair correctly, I reason, I would no longer have a round face, thin lips, a saggy chin, or sixty years of mileage. She loves the challenge. That, and she’s a saint.

  5. LOL! I knew there was a reason why I didn’t decide to be a hairdresser. :-)

  6. Very funny post. And I didn’t know you were fairly new to blogging. Your posts are always so good, so on point and so incredibly funny, that I thought you’d been doing it for much longer. I am now even more impressed!

    As for hair, well, my hair is the only feature I haven’t totally destroyed from my younger gorgeous self. So I tell the hairdresser to do what he wants with it.

    This technique has only failed me once, when I needed an emergency haircut with a new hairdresser. I knew I was in trouble when, after she was done she proclaimed me “SASSY.”

  7. I’d love to have you go to one of those hair dresser schools with this list. You’d sort out the wheat from the chaff for sure! Thanks for reposting. I hadn’t seen this one and got a good chuckle!

  8. Holiday reruns? Just like TV! I read this one the first time around and still love it. What’s that old adage….I’m a beautician not a magician!! Btw, can I have your hairdresser’s number?

  9. I would like to add that “Humidity makes my hair flop. Unless I want it straight and floppy. In which case, humidity makes my hair frizz and have more volume than music in Abercrombie and Fitch.”

    I don’t think I make enough money in a year to tip that much.

    • I think I would welcome frizz…. it would be the only volume I’ve ever had.

  10. Love it! Thanks for reposting; I wouldn’t have wanted to miss that one!

  11. I might have to print this out and take it to the hairdresser next time I go.

    • I hope she has a sense of humor. Scissors can be weapons, you know.

  12. As a once-upon-a-time hairdresser I have seen this list a gazzillion times! It helps to be a bit ditzy if you are a stylist–I was pretty good…

  13. Well, I’m glad you posted this again because it’s definitely a CLASSIC, just like you!

  14. Love how you find the humor in every situation. Don’t we all go to the hair stylist and beg for small life-changing mercies??? Wishing you and yours a merry..merry Christmas!

  15. I’ve read this previously and it still reads well now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,916 other followers

%d bloggers like this: