notquiteold

Gracefully Aging – With Resistance

I’m a Good Tipper

Amanda Françozo

Image via Wikipedia

DEAR HAIRDRESSER:

Before you start, I’d like to share with you just a couple of my little “issues”:

  • My face is really round.
  • My eyes are close together.
  • My eyebrows are going gray.
  • I have a short neck, but an extra chin.
  • My lips are too thin.
  • I’m very pale.  Except when I’m tan.
  • My hair is fine at the temples, but thick at the back.
  • Nobody has no body like me.
  • One ear is just slightly lower than the other.
  • I’m allergic to one kind of dye, but I don’t remember which one.
  • I like my hair a rich, dark brown, or maybe blond.  Redheads are nice.
  • I like layers, but not too many layers.  Or maybe a lot.  Or maybe blunt.
  • The back of my head is quite flat.
  • I have a cowlick back there, so that spot is even flatter.
  • The right side of my hair tends to flip up by itself.
  • I  like bangs.  Long, but not too long.  And fringy.  You know, like that actress.  You know… her. But only in that one movie, not the other one.
  • I’m not very good with the blowdryer.
  • Humidity makes my hair flop.
  • Dry weather gives me the static flyaways. Like rubbing a balloon against my sweater.
  • I have a photo here of a style I like.  It’s longer than my hair, but the right cut might grow into that.
  • I want to subtract a few years.  Like twenty.

So now we’re ready.

Give me a hairdo that will correct/conceal/complement all of my little issues.

I know you can do it.

I’m a good tipper.

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16 Comments

  1. Mmmm, you seem a wee bit self-critical…

    • Really? I didn’t say anything bad about my nose.

  2. Can you tell me the name of YOUR hairdresser? Mine gets everything right but the year subtraction. Maybe I should tip based on the number of years younger I look.

  3. Maureen

    Hilarious! And oh so true! I’m looking forward to reading more.

  4. Ha! I never tell them anything. I completely abdicate responsibility: can you do something with this? I am a good tipper, too. That is probably the best strategy,

    • For years and years, I said nothing to my hairdresser. I was really afraid of hairdressers. I would sit and watch while I hated what they did. Now i make all my demands seem as quirky and funny as possible. It gets results.

  5. pharphelonus

    Wow. That’s very funny. I think it’s kinda hilarious how most women could make a similar list about themselves, and how most guys read said lists, or hear them, and think “are you greaking kidding me?”

    Love the name, and loved your party line contribution to my memories of a simple time blog. Good luck with the hairdresser. LOL

    • thanks…you brought back a lot of sweet memories…I am think now about a post when there were only two kinds of pasta (and no one called them pasta) – just spaghetti and macaroni.

      • pharphelonus

        and skim milk was considered gross.
        and red meat made you strong instead of killing you

        • Not only was red meat good for you, my mother used to dip bread (white bread, of course) into the fat drippings from the steak. and we’d eat that too! It’s a miracle we’re alive.

  6. Hahaha….hilarious! I am still in that don’t say much mode. Then again, I am cheap and with the kinds of hairdressers I go to, I’m lucky if they can just layer it right.

  7. LOL! I can so relate to all of this. (And I would add: I definitely don’t want the layers to be too short! But not too long, either. You know what I mean, right?)

    Hairdressers are not paid nearly enough, are they?

  8. Well you look pretty darned good in your picture – that tipping must be paying off :-)

  9. Your posts are hysterically funny! Keep on, keepin on ~~ I love reading your stuff. P.S.: are you sure one of those customers wasn’t me? :)
    cuhome

    • Thanks for finding me, and finding me funny!

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